Weighing The Pros And Cons For Online Dating Rookies

Wednesday, May 18, 2016 11:00 AM

Was the last time you dated when cell phones were used for actual phone calls? Are you ready to start swiping in search of your perfect mate? If so, we've put together some helpful tips for online dating rookies like you.

Even if you've never used an online dating app or website before, chances are someone you know has. According to the Pew Research Center "Today, nearly half of the public knows someone who uses online dating or who has met a spouse or partner via online dating."

Pro: You have access to hundreds of profiles of single people. Say you're out of college, you work from home, you don't like the bar scene and you hate the gym. Online dating apps can be a great way to meet people you simply wouldn't otherwise have access to.

Con: Having too many choices can be a bad thing and may lead you to be more pessimistic and critical of relationships. If you've ever gone to a restaurant with a 50 page book for a menu, you may already be aware of this phenomenon. Sometimes having fewer options to choose from leaves you more confident in your final choice.

Pro: You can get your friends involved early in the "future soulmate" selection process. You'll be surprised; sometimes your friends know who's a good match for you more than you know yourself.

Con: Your married friends may think of your online dating as a fun new game. They'll live vicariously through you, swiping right on every candidate leaving you with an inbox full of unwelcome messages from random strangers.

Pro: You can make initial connections easily.

Con: The actual screening and getting to know you process can start to feel like a part time job. Even a spreadsheet may be needed to keep track of potential soulmates!

Pro: In person you may spend half the night wondering if the girl sitting next to that cute guy is his wife or his sister. With online dating, breaking the ice with someone who catches your eye is easier because you (hopefully!) know right off the bat that they're single too.

Con: When someone doesn't respond to a poke or a match or a swipe, it's hard not to take it personally. It's important to keep in mind that they don't really "know" you. You're not alone if online dating doesn't work for you. "One-third of people who have used online dating have never actually gone on a date with someone they met on these sites."

Pro: You can easily eliminate candidates based on your set criteria. Looking for a non-smoking, cat loving guy with no kids? There may be a match just for you.

Con: It's hard to know if there's chemistry on a 5-inch screen. "Some of the cues and features that build attraction (like touching) cannot be accomplished through a computer." You may eliminate a guy immediately online because he doesn't like cats. But if in real life he makes your heart flutter, you can overlook his lack fondness for felines.

It's true that online dating has as many cons as it does pros, but so does "offline" dating. The bottom line is that it's a convenient way to widen your pool of potential prospects. However, once you've narrowed down your choices, WebMD recommends you "spend less time scrutinizing profiles and set up an in-person meeting to find out if you're compatible." Despite the advances made to algorithms to match potential mates, nothing will ever replace a good old-fashioned face-to-face love connection.

Remember to have fun and be safe babes!

The Sovaettes