The Key to Great Oral Sex

Wednesday, December 23, 2015 3:00 PM

Do you think of oral sex as just an act of foreplay leading up to the main event? We think it’s time to move it into the spotlight.

Some couples experience oral sex as a "relationship strengthener" says sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston, PhD.1 Keep in mind that oral sex is a very intimate experience, and deciding whether or not to have sex of any kind should be a completely personal choice based on your comfort level.2

Whether you've decided to give oral sex a try or you've been at it for a while, take the time to talk to your partner about your likes and dislikes. Communication is key to a more fulfilling sex life. With great communication you'll find that your partner may be more willing to open up in bed, literally.

What she really wants…

The term cunnilingus comes from the combining of two Latin words: cunnus, meaning vulva, and lingere, or licking.3 It can be a very effective means of sexual stimulation.4 In fact, for many women they are more likely to reach orgasm during oral sex than intercourse.5 Here are three tips you can use to show her that her gratification is your priority:

All good foreplay begins with kissing. Don't just jump right in, kiss her all over and work your way down, slowly, very slowly. Once you're there, begin with long low kisses and licking on the sides of the clitoral shaft.6 Then gradually increase the speed and intensity.7

Once she's ready, move on to directly stimulate the clitoris licking it in slow or rapid motions.8

If adult toys are part of your bedroom repertoire this is a great time to break them out. Many women enjoy having the vaginal opening massaged. You can also use a personal vibrator to massage the G-spot.9 If you take pleasure in oral sex but are too embarrassed or afraid to ask for it here are some helpful tips to getting what you want: 10 Tips for Getting What you Want in Bed

What he really wants…

The term "fellatio" is from the Latin verb fellare, meaning "to suck."10 But to give him oral sex that rocks his world there's a little more to it than that.

Men have parts of their genitalia that are more sensitive than others just like women do. Start slow, by licking or kissing the testicles and penis shaft.11

The most sensitive part of the penis is the head, including the underside of the penis where the head meets the shaft. Begin by sucking gently with while moving your mouth up and down the shaft. 12

To swallow or not to swallow, that is the question. Once you bring him close to climax it's really up to you if you want to switch to using your hand to finish the job. Once you've mastered the art of cunnilingus and fellatio try pleasing each other at the same time!

Protect Yourself & Your Partner

Just because there is no risk of pregnancy doesn't mean that there aren't risks associated with oral sex. Sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted through oral sex. So take precautions. For more information, please visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's website.

The Sovaettes