Is Sexting a Must Do or a Disastrous Don't?

Friday, May 27, 2016 11:00 AM

If you think sexting is an exclusively hormone-addled teen activity, you'd be wrong. According to research, "more than 8 out of 10 people surveyed online admitted to sexting in the prior year.

Sexting isn't just for singles either, it can be a fun way to spice up your long-term relationship and spark an old flame. Added bonus: if you're sexting with your partner, it can have benefits beyond the immediate satisfaction. According to a study reported by the American Psychological Association, "researchers found that greater levels of sexting were associated with greater sexual satisfaction, especially for those in a relationship."

Here are a few quick and easy ideas for sexting with your sweetie.


THE MUST DO'S

An Erotic Picture's Worth...: It should come as no surprise that men are strongly aroused by "visual cues." As Dr. Leon F. Seltzer states in his series on sexual desire "As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned-on-not only physically but psychologically, too." So women, if you want to turn on your man, snap a quick pic in the morning when you're getting dressed or stepping out of the shower. It may make his morning commute a lot more enjoyable.


Story Time: Women may want suggestive texts from their partners without them being explicit. Men, tell your partner what you want to do to her when she gets home from a long day at work. "For women there is a need for a plot -- hence the romance novel. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire."


Send And Delete: Delete photos from your phone, from the cloud, from your hard drive, from wherever they're saved. The last thing you want is unwanted access to the photos.


Double, Triple, Quadruple Check: Check to make sure you're sending to the right phone number. Double-check to make sure you're not replying to a group text. Triple-check that you're sending a direct message, not a public message. Quadruple-check just for good measure!


DON'T GO THERE

Stranger Danger: If you don't really know who you're sending messages to, put the phone down. Don't send unsolicited photos or text advances.


No Take Backs: Once a picture or text is in cyberspace, there's no way to get it back and it may be digitally stored in multiple places. Keep in mind that sexting can be risky.


Pics? Men, don't be pushy. Sending a woman a text at 2am that just says "pics?" is a sure-fire way to be blocked from her digital life and her real life.