How To Achieve Simultaneous Climax

Wednesday, April 27, 2016 11:00 AM

You've seen it in movies and read about it in romance novels, but is it really possible to achieve simultaneous orgasm? There is little evidence that mutual climax is common. Keep in mind that great sex isn't all about the ending. "There is such incredible individual variation in people's bodies and sexual responses, that mutual simultaneous orgasms are as likely to involve a lot of accidental timing and synchronicity, as they are to reflect any mystical physical or spiritual bond."

With that in mind, if it's something you've never experienced, here are some tips that may not work for everyone, but sure would be fun to try!

Receiving Is Sometimes Better Than Giving

Our blog post The Science of Foreplay cited that Laurie B. Mintz Ph.D. says it takes "men take an average of four minutes to reach orgasm once they begin intercourse and women take somewhere around eleven minutes--and this is not eleven minutes of intercourse, it is eleven minutes of stimulation." Meaning that during foreplay when you're taking turns giving and receiving, make sure you get a little more receiving time before you move on to intercourse.

Change Your Position

"Try positions that will stimulate your clitoris as well as your vagina. Some women find that being on top gives them more control; some find that a partner's fingers rubbing their clitoris during intercourse is the extra touch that they need."

Take It To The Edge

Controlling your orgasm, also known as "edging" is "a sexual technique which may be practiced either alone or with a partner and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm." Rather than racing to the finish line, you and your partner may want to try delaying your orgasm! If you or your partner tends to climax faster than the other, work with each other to gradually stimulate and reach your orgasms. The idea is to slow down the final act until you are both ready.


It's difficult to achieve an orgasm at all if you're not present. According to Dan Pollets in Psychology Today you need to "show up in the moment of sexual encounter with all your senses. It is not about thinking. Allow your awareness to rest in the sensations that you and your partner create."

Take Responsibility

For any satisfying sexual relationship it's important to have open communication. That means telling your partner exactly what excites you and even showing him or her if you need to. "No man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn't take responsibility for her sexual experience. Even the best lover can't know what she needs without her letting him know." If you want to achieve mutual orgasm, open communication is the key. Tell your partner when you're getting close to climax so you can both slow it down or speed it up accordingly.

Here's to a fun night!

The Sovaettes

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